Chimpomatic

A Serious Man

Ethan and Joel Coen

A Serious Man? A seriously boring film.

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30th Dec 2009 - Tumblr

1.5

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Surveillance

The Girl on the Train

Bland, predictable potboiler that could have been written, directed and acted by a computer.


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18th Nov 2017

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Lion

Stylish, touching movie. Nicely acted if a little slow.


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12th Nov 2017

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6 Days

Historical engaging, but languidly edited thriller surrounding the 1980 Iranian Embassy siege.


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5th Nov 2017

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Moonlight

Intense, mournful coming-of-age drama. Very stylish and operatic. Terrence Mallick via John Singleton.


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21st Oct 2017

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Intricately plotted, but seamlessly crafted into a lighthearted modern classic.


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20th Oct 2017

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T2 Trainspotting

Belated sequel that remixes the original with some success, but the nostalgia runs a little thin.


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15th Oct 2017

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The Accountant

A Beautiful Mind meets the A-Team. Convoluted actioner that doesn’t transcend its premise.


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11th Oct 2017

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Sully

Solid, uplifting biopic. Well structured with moments of real tension despite the inevitable ending. And 91m.


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11th Oct 2017

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Bladerunner 2049

Good visuals, nice music, flabby storytelling and a confusing plot. A worthy sequel.


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6th Oct 2017

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Finding Dory

Convoluted, charmless sequel. A rare misfire from Pixar.


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17th Sep 2017

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American Honey

Andrea Arnold transplants her class observations to the US. Unforgivably long, if beautifully shot.


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17th Sep 2017

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Ordinary World

Billie Joe Armstrong plays a former star dealing with 40. Good concept, rendered as flat as possible.


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16th Sep 2017

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Passengers

Woefully inept, on-the-nose sci-fi romance. A reasonable concept executed in the worst way possible.


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10th Sep 2017

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Deepwater Horizon

Nicely directed, but a true story often doesn’t make for a well shaped film.


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31st Aug 2017

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The Box

Over-complicated, over-stylised mess from a director who clearly fluked his debut.


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30th Aug 2017

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The Lorax

Overlooked Dr. Suess adaptation from the Minions guys. Charming, but lacking a stand out character.


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30th Aug 2017

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The Infiltrator

Utterly standard undercover cop gets in too deep movie.


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29th Aug 2017

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Arrival

Stylish modern sci-fi with a clever structure, but it's still a film about subtitled aliens.


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24th Aug 2017

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The Lobster

Clever, quirky, black comedy parable that runs out of steam.


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23rd Aug 2017

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Dunkirk

Despite the good press, it's another shapeless, bloated one-dimensional rough cut from Christopher Nolan.


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17th Aug 2017

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Doctor Strange

Ambitious CGI can’t save this bland comic book entry. Cumberbatch’s accent strikes the death blow.


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17th Aug 2017

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To The Bone

Unchallenging drama investigating life with eating disorders. Occasional Keanu Reeves.


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12th Aug 2017

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Moana

Flawless new-generation animation from Disney. Action, heart, comedy and very catchy songs.


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6th Aug 2017

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Nocturnal Animals

Intense, terrifying, riveting thriller from Tom Ford. Great performances and assured direction.


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22nd Jul 2017

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The Girl With All The Gifts

Reasonable zombie drama. More rewarding than Walking Dead, but still a bit derivative.


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14th Jul 2017

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Captive

Intense, borderline arthouse Canadian kidnap drama from Atom Egoyan. Ryan Reynolds impresses.


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8th Jul 2017

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Cake

Self-important, slightly contrived mainstream indie with the one with the good hair from Friends.


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8th Jul 2017

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Song to Song

More clichéd Terrence Malick. Amazing cinematography. Meandering improv. Great real-world settings.


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6th Jul 2017

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Threads

Brutal 80s TV movie, imagining nuclear winter. Age has blended the stock footage to horrifying perfection.


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3rd Jul 2017

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The Intern

Surprisingly charming, sentimental, old style movie with no need for an antagonist. Plus, solid DeNiro.


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1st Jul 2017

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Jack Reacher

Never Go Back

Serviceable action sequel that ticks a lot of boxes without thinking outside of any.


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27th Jun 2017

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Sing

Totally predictable, thoroughly inspiring animated sing-a-long for the X-Factor generation.


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24th Jun 2017

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Bad Moms

B-list, mis-cast, low-ball girl gang comedy. Weak.


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19th Jun 2017

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War Machine

Catastrophically miscast black comedy that fails at every turn. Big let down from star and director.


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11th Jun 2017

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Absolutely Fabulous

Effortless retread of a show that survived well past it's sell-by date.


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29th May 2017

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Suicide Squad

Codswallop that's as indecipherable as every other recent DC movie. Terrible script, hammy acting.


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22nd May 2017

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Another 48 Hours

Chaotic, bloated sequel. Low on humour and mostly involving bad guys flying through plate glass.


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17th May 2017

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Ghostbusters

Lazy, half-baked remake/reboot, totally lacking in charm.


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17th May 2017

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Daddy's Home

Wafer thin parenting parable, barely coasting along on the charm of Ferrell and Wahlberg.


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16th May 2017

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Hell or High Water

Classic western tropes burn slowly to an intense finale. Classic Jeff Bridges.


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12th May 2017

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Jason Bourne

Tired, pointless rehash of a franchise that long ran out of steam.


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6th May 2017

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Gimme Danger

Stooges doc that is interesting by default, but dull given that Jim Jarmusch is behind the camera.


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28th Apr 2017

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One More Time With Feeling

Poingiant doc of the latest Bad Seeds album. Still falls into the usual making-of box.


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26th Apr 2017

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Captain Fantastic

Stylish, thought-provoking indie contemplating the weighty responsibilities of parenthood.


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22nd Apr 2017

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The Fugitive

Great 90s blockbuster, with Harrison Ford carrying the movie on top finger-wagging form.


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18th Mar 2017

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Demolition

Accomplished character piece. Almost stretches itself a bit thin, but it's stylish enough to transcend.


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18th Mar 2017

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Garden State

Dated indie classic that uses music to create pseudo-sentimental highs of little real substance.


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18th Mar 2017

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Supersonic

Engaging, nostalgic doc which meanders through the rise and rise of 1995’s greatest band ever.


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14th Mar 2017

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Drugstore Cowboy

Quintessential Gus Van Zant. Great art direction, acting and photography. Possibly better with age.


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7th Mar 2017

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I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore

Confident indie comedy-thriller that pitches itself perfectly.


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4th Mar 2017

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