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Surveillance

Shifty

Shoddy, uninspired and underwhelming Brit indie flick.


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21st Sep 2013

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The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Dull, formulaic comedy ...lacking in magic.


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6th Aug 2013

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Olympus Has Fallen

Lumpy action pic, with Gerard Butler playing 'Die Hard Goes To Washington'.


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6th Aug 2013

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Dredd

Dismal $45m fan-fiction turkey. Poorly written, shot, directed and acted.


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19th Jul 2013

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The Great Gatsby

Cold, empty adaptation with a few good Leo & Carey moments in a wash of flashy mega-trailer set pieces.


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#chimp71

23rd May 2013

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Heli

Boring, drawn out drug cartel anecdote, with occasional ultra-violence.


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18th May 2013

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Prometheus

Shoddy prequel that leaves less unanswered questions on second viewing and a bigger sense of vacuousness.


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11th May 2013

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The Raid

If you like never-ending punch-ups, you'll love this.


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7th May 2013

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Ted

Base humour. Wahlberg should know better. Even the funny bits from the trailer were drawn out here.


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6th May 2013

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Emmanuel and the Truth About Fishes

Mis-cast drama, with a touch of horror and a serious case of student filmitis.


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26th Apr 2013

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The Five Year Engagement

Lazy Hollywood dross that telegraphs its every move and hides no surprises.


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21st Apr 2013

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Last Days

Unrevealing, uninvolving, dull meander through the last days of a Kurt Cobain-esque grunge star.


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23rd Mar 2013

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Battleship

Independence Day meets Pearl Harbour, in one of the best movies-based-on-a-toy ever.


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23rd Feb 2013

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Wanderlust

Anaemic hippie comedy, with a sub-par turn out from that Paul Rudd that we like.


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2nd Feb 2013

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The Dictator

Ali G delivers this generations 'Coming To America'. You'll be embarrassed to find yourself laughing.


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1st Feb 2013

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The Meteor

Disappointingly unambitious French-Canadian experimental drama. More experiments please.


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20th Jan 2013

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2046

Incomprehensible, semi-futuristic rehash from Wong Kar Wai, who is seemingly out of fresh ideas and fading fast.


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29th Dec 2012

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The Watch

More loose dudecom antics, Richard Ayaode joins Stiller/Hill/Vaughan on suburban neighbourhood patrol.


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#chimp71

23rd Dec 2012

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In Time

Clunky, clumsy, convoluted sci-fi from Andrew Niccol. Re-treading his usual themes.


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16th Nov 2012

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Act of Valor

Exciting first-person action can't trump a crass plot, appalling script and diabolical non-actor leads.


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11th Nov 2012

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Jumper

Teleporter playboy Hayden Christensen zips from pyramids to Tokyo, chased by a blond Sam Jackson. Fun idea, flat.


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#chimp71

15th Oct 2012

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The Cabin In The Woods

Silly post-modern mash-up of Scooby Doo and The Truman Show. Wears thin pretty quickly.


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24th Sep 2012

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Band of Horses

Mirage Rock

12 new BoH songs of between 3 and 4 minutes in length. And the variety ends there. It's like a contractually-obliged, post-plane cash Skynerd album.


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17th Sep 2012

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Welcome to the Rileys

Contrived, downbeat melodrama from Ridley Scott Jnr.


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22nd Jul 2012

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Cowboys & Aliens

Bond and Indy can't rescue this sci-fi western mashup from the Temple Of Dull.


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#chimp71

14th Jul 2012

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Green Lantern

Expensive, often hilariously naff B-movie about a C-list superhero. Bomb.


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8th Jul 2012

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Priest

Almost wilfully generic post-apocalypse sci-fi horror western. Warrior priest Paul Bettany v vampires w Maggie Q.


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#chimp71

8th Jul 2012

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Prometheus

Shapeless script and shoddy direction add up to make this Ridley Scott's 'Attack of the Clones'. Woeful.


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14th Jun 2012

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L'Immortel

Clunky French revenge actioner, with Jean Reno hunting down les mobsters that put 22 bullets in him.


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20th May 2012

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Dark Shadows

Vampire meets 70s. Another Burton/Depp dressing up box: a few gags, but messy plot strands & nowhere to go.


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#chimp71

8th May 2012

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Horrible Bosses

Low brow comedy update of 'Strangers on a Train'.


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2nd Apr 2012

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Love And Other Drugs

Pseudo-deep, nostalgia tinged comedy > drama, painted with big, cliched brush strokes.


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12th Mar 2012

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Faster

The Rock does his best Lee Marvin impression while Billy Bob slums it in this unsubtle thriller-by-numbers.


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10th Mar 2012

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Country Strong

Another lumbering plod through the troubled, lovelorn, cliche-ridden world of Country & Western.


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2nd Mar 2012

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Walking Tall

Fun smalltown actioner with a plot The A-team would be proud of except The Rock didn't know who to call.


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25th Feb 2012

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Scarface

Shapeless pacing and shoddy production values make for one of the most over-rated film school favorites.

Halliwell says: Absurdly brutalized version of the above, with detailed violence and a superabundance of foul language. Scarface has now become an emigre Cuban, and the film seems to want to make a political statement.


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20th Feb 2012

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No Strings Attached

Devastatingly transparent and unambitious romcom-by-numbers with Natalie Portman.


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19th Feb 2012

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Tomorrow, When The War Began

Heartbreak High meets Red Dawn in this bland teen Aussie box office smash.


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17th Feb 2012

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Rush

Disappointingly dated, wooden, melodramatic undercover-cops-go-too-far movie. With added Eric Clapton noodling.


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15th Feb 2012

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Chalet Girl

Unambitious @UKFilmCouncil drivel starring many of the usual suspects. I'm talking to you #BillNighy.


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12th Feb 2012

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Ironclad

Shapeless medieval actioner. The medium calibre cast is let down by the shoddy production quality & script.


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28th Jan 2012

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Paul

Turgid alien bromance comedy. Disappointing turns from Rogan/Frost/Pegg/Mottola.


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26th Jan 2012

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Hereafter

Bizarre exploration of the afterlife from Clint. Hot on the heels of What Dreams May Come and Lovely Bones.


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7th Jan 2012

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The Dilemma

Mind boggling unambitious dramedy from the normally lofty Ron Howard.


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4th Dec 2011

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Che Part Two

Stylish, but dull and anti-climactic meander through Che's exploits in Bolivia.


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2nd Dec 2011

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The Tourist

Gormless, tension free, big screen entry from The Lives of Others director. Misfiring on every level.


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17th Nov 2011

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Unstoppable

More unsubtle, pretentious action from Denzel and Tony Scott. Must have been inspired after Pelham 123.


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4th Nov 2011

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Route Irish

Uneven mash up of Iraq thriller and kitchen sink drama from Ken Loach.


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22nd Oct 2011

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