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Surveillance

A Bigger Splash

Glacially paced, pretentious arthouse fluff, that fritters away a potentially interesting set up.


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21st Jan 2017

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The Hateful Eight

Tarantino zeros in on the most-tedious-film-ever award. Someone get the guy a new editor.


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7th Jan 2017

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13 Hours

Beard-heavy special ops bloodbath, with more than a passing nod to the equally impartial Black Hawk Down.


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26th Oct 2016

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Keeping Rosy

Half baked British thriller. Some decent ideas, but it's all a bit studenty.


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28th Aug 2016

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Pan

Another disastrous Peter Pan reboot. Nonsensical gibberish, trying to capture some Baz Luhrmann weirdness.


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18th Aug 2016

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Everest

Tension free wander up and down the mountain. Everybody plays it worthy, only Gyllenhaal vaguely impresses.


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23rd Jul 2016

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Legend

Tom Hardy gives two 1-note performances in this dull, derivative Goodfellas wannabe.


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9th Jun 2016

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Southpaw

Cookie cutter boxing pic that can't decide if it's ripping off Rockie, Raging Bull or Million Dollar Baby.


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8th May 2016

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Terminator Genisys

Could have been the BTTF2 of the series. Good concept, poor script, bad casting and appalling CGI.


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5th Mar 2016

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Avengers Age of Ultron

Superhero clusterfuck. Cinematic, but overstuffed and riddled with dumb, cartoony CGI fluff.


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31st Dec 2015

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Austin to Boston

Road-movie-concept music doc. Good on paper, but contrived, self-important and superficial.


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2nd Dec 2015

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Project Almanac

MTV presents a Primer clone for the teenage generation. A found footage angle dilutes things further.


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16th Oct 2015

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Unbroken

Self-important, tedious cookie cutter bio. Unfortunately, even Roger Deakins’ cinematography is forgettable.


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14th Oct 2015

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A Most Wanted Man

Tension free Le Carre adaptation, with a star studded US cast pretending to be Euro.


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1st Oct 2015

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The Guest

Underdeveloped thriller from a promising director. More Twilight than Terminator.


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1st Oct 2015

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The Phantom Menace

The most disappointing sequel of all time has only got worse with age. Only Darth Maul redeems.


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15th Aug 2015

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The Double

Sub-Gilliam Kafka-esque twoddle. It's all intentional, but just ends up looking like an 80s student film.


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24th Jul 2015

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Mad Max Fury Road

2 hours of utterly unmotivated nonsense, interspersed with OTT wacky races. But I was never a fan.


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21st Jul 2015

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The Counsellor

Indecipherable monologues from Hollywood's A list, shot by a director with a dismal success ratio.


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13th Jun 2015

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Aloha

Emma Stone playing a half-Chinese/Hawaiian local is the least of this confusing Cameron Crowe washout's problems.


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3rd Jun 2015

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Foxcatcher

Portentous wrestling pic. Nicely shot, with a raft of solid performances, but it's boring as hell.


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5th May 2015

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Blackhat

Out of touch, contrived, misguided, miscast, dull disaster from Michael Mann. Reasonably well shot.


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19th Apr 2015

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Open Windows

Convoluted found footageish thriller. Channeling Rear Window, but too smartass, shapeless and pointless.


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7th Feb 2015

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Robin Hood

Decidedly lacklustre effort from the doldrums of the 1970s Disney studio. With mis-guided Honky Tonk.

Halliwell says: Alarmingly poor cartoon feature with all the characters 'played' by animals; songs especially dim and treatment quite lifeless.


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1st Jan 2015

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The Interview

Witless comedy with none of the observation of Knocked Up, or the outrageousness of Team America.


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28th Dec 2014

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Cherry

Predictable indie drama. Following in the footsteps of 'Starlet', but with less style and originality.


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23rd Dec 2014

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Triangle

Laborious time loop thriller with many similarities to the far superior Timecrimes.


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18th Dec 2014

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Predestination

Clunky time-travel-paradox yarn that telegraphs its beats well ahead of time.


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5th Dec 2014

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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Diminishing returns for those damn dirty apes, with none of the humanity of ROTPOTA.


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13th Nov 2014

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Big Sur

Stiff, lifeless, disengaging Kerouac adaption, complete with bad wigs. And only 81 mins long.


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15th Sep 2014

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Magic Magic

Foreboding, tedious US-enhanced Chilean psycho thriller that's decidedly half-baked in the thrills dept.


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5th Sep 2014

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Decoding Annie Parker

A powerful subject neutered by a shoddy script, poor direction and diabolical photography.


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31st Aug 2014

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Parker

Forgettable take on the well worn character, blending him seamlessly into Statham's narrow character database.


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28th Aug 2014

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Behind the Candelabra

Damon and Douglas raid the dressing up box for Soderbergh's unrevealing Liberace biopic.


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28th Aug 2014

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Locke

Pretentious, boring gimmick movie that unfolds like a tedious, drunken anecdote in a joke Welsh accent.


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9th Aug 2014

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The Lady In The Lake

Glacially paced Raymond Chandler mystery, hampered immensely by the peep show camera style.

Halliwell says: Complex private eye yarn which makes the original Chandler dialogue sound childish by over-reliance on the subjective camera method: we see the hero's face only when he looks in a mirror. An experiment that failed because it was not really understood.*


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8th Aug 2014

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Sorcerer

Dull 'existential' 70s remake of tight 50s classic. Friedkin remains one of the most over-rated directors.

Halliwell says: Why anyone should have wanted to spend $20 million on a remake of The Wages Of Fear, do it badly, and give it a misleading title is anybody's guess. The result is dire.


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30th Jul 2014

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Now You See Me

A total car crash of a script, held together by smoke and mirrors.


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7th Jul 2014

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Laurel Canyon

Pretentious, cliche ridden meander through life and music - weighted by several leaden performances.


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27th May 2014

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Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit

Convoluted, utterly unmemorable threeboot, with a dull Chris Pine and a Branagh double dip.


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27th May 2014

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Anchorman 2 The Legend Continues

Tired, overlong reup from Ferrell and the gang that makes the first feel sophisticated.


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21st May 2014

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Stand Up Guys

Aimless OAP gangster antics with Pacino and Walken wandering around for a bit.


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6th Apr 2014

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The Bling Ring

Promising modern fable, rendered as superficial and one dimensional as its subject.


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30th Mar 2014

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The Numbers Station

By the numbers small scale CIA drama. Cusack phones it in.


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7th Feb 2014

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Welcome to the Punch

Cliche ridden UK crime thriller that plays out like Heat written by the EastEnders staff.


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7th Feb 2014

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Man of Steel

Riddick meets LOTR as Zack Snyder cements his position as the most overrated director of his generation.


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16th Jan 2014

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Iron Man 3

Dismal CGI superhero farce, with crystal twiddler Robert Downey Jnr turned up to eleven.


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28th Dec 2013

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The Hobbit

An Unexpected Journey

Zero tension as this near real-time prequel sets the pace. Goonies x Big Brother.


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19th Nov 2013

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Pacific Rim

Disappointingly vacuous, badly cast, tension-free monsters vs robots nonsense. GDT should know better.


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14th Nov 2013

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